fuelling

Days are drifting by on the labels of the salads, my mind is drifting away through the big hole that was punched in a brick wall. Really not a lot going on. Working full-time cancells the lonely, lumped coffee like discovery of the fact that one is ridiculously bored. Work itself, ever more the dead-end same old easy routine (now with the 1 year pin on my name card), is going well even though Charles got fired last week. Most of my friends seem to be very busy with everything: girlfriends/boyfriends, vacations, festivals, fulltime jobs, part-time jobs with shit hours. But none of that really matters because I am still calm, awaking after dawn, occupied enough with work and looking ahead and seeing the colossal task to be that is college. And I laugh at it as I laughed at my own mortality when I was on shrooms in grade 10: "my, my in this forest I will die. If I can't fly, what can I do now that sky, ground and trees are all melting in to one form in mine eye??" But I laughed anyway because I was just having such a fabulous time and under my mind's sewer grates my self preservation whispered off of ancient spinning reels with some valuable advice, the subtly effective party even in those days against the moment's folly with. I might lose my sense of direction next time and lose my capability to track the landmarks or the borders of different forms, but I'll bet that if I just keep walking in the same direction for long enough in a bad situation, I'll have a chance to jump a fence back to familiarity. I just wonder who would be waiting in front of me once over...